Joe Abercrombie wrote a character in his First Law Trilogy. A crippled war veteran who despises his life. He became a cripple after being tortured by the other side in war. And eventually, he himself became a torturer for his country. He wants to kill himself every day but somehow gets his miserable ass out of bed every morning, and goes on torturing more and more people.
That one book to read if you have two hours before the end of the world.
How to make reading books more productive.